How Will Your Kids Turn Out? Passing On What's Most Important

     As parents, we are the greatest influencers of our child’s attitudes and behaviors. Even more importantly, we shape our child’s values. These values are the overarching guidelines for how we act and are an integral part of who we are as Christians. Monkey see, monkey do. 

     It is important to consistently stress our values to our children. Of course, what we say about our values is important, but even more important (and what our kids will more quickly notice!) is how we respond to situations in relation with those values.

     When I was young, my father always stressed the importance of everyday education. He told me he valued learning, but his words would have meant nothing if his actions didn’t match. Fortunately, I would often see my dad with his nose in the newspaper or watching documentaries. This is a classic example of actions speaking louder than words.

     The same idea goes for our faith life. If we place our faith in Jesus Christ as one of our values, are we modeling behaviors that are in harmony with this value we want to instill in our children? Are we encouraging prayer and Christian actions in day-to-day life by simply talking about their importance or by actively looking for opportunities to take action ourselves and exemplify our values? FamilyLife.com has a great article on the importance of putting our values in practice as parents. If you’re uncertain how to model your values, it can help to first concretely define your values. Then, look for ways those values can be shown within your own life. This worksheet can help you define your values. 

     Parenting on purpose requires defining your values, living them out, and teaching them to your children. It will take self-discipline and persistence to effectively pass on your values to your kids, but you can do it!

4 Books Series to Read Aloud With Your Kids

     Reading good books out loud can bring a family together. Good books can give you great conversation starters. They can help promote the values and character you want to instill in your kids. Books let you dive into epic stories and explore tough topics where a movie would be too intense for kids. And if the books are exceptionally good, they give kids the chance to stay up past their bedtime!

    We love reading at our house. Our bedtime routine culminates with reading books out loud as a family. Here are four series that we've read recently that I would recommend as great read-a-louds to any kids:

The Chronicles of Narnia

by CS Lewis

     This is a longstanding classic story set and for good reason. Lewis has a knack for presenting his stories with wit and humor. He presents biblical themes and truth in a fun, engaging, and creative way.

The Little House Books

by Laura Ingalls Wilder

     This is a non-fiction series where the author shares stories of her childhood. Some of the things she lived through and experienced are amazing. They help my family appreciate what America was like 150 years ago. Every time I read Little House on the Prairie (the second book in the series), I am amazed by the things that happened to Laura and her family.

The Mysterious Benedict Society

by Trenton Lee Stewart

     This is one part mystery and one part puzzle/brain teaser. While it's not a series from a Christian author, it still promotes a ton of great qualities.  It's helped my family learn that you should do good when it's in your power to do so. These are definitely books that you can’t stop reading once you start.  

The Wingfeather Saga

by Andrew Peterson  

     This series started almost comical, but continues to get better and better. Instead of direct correlations to biblical themes (like The Chronicles of Narnia), there are general ideas of Good and Evil, helping others, and watching out for your family. Start with Book One - On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness.

     Reading with your family is a great way to building lasting memories and learn valuable lessons along the way. Head to the library, grab a few good books, and enjoy a family evening by diving into a story together!

Have a Fun & Frugal 4th of July

     4th of July is one of my favorite holidays, mainly because it is usually filled with delicious food, pretty fireworks, and great company. If you've ever thrown a themed party, you know that hosting can be a stressful and expensive experience. Oh, but it doesn't have to be! Whether you plan on inviting the whole neighborhood over or just want an easy and special treat for your family, there are endless creative ideas out there! Here's just a few:

     Kara has included 15 different treats and decorative ideas for 4th of July on her blog Saving by Design. From patriotic fruit and cheese trays to a refurbished painted pallet, you will find that the majority of her ideas are fun, frugal, and easy! For all you moms and dads with full calendars, you will have no trouble pulling together a quick snack or activity this holiday for your friends and family.

     And if you need help with the small details, Kathy over at The Budget Decorator has some great, affordable DIY decorations that will be a breeze to pull together if you decide to have a spur of the moment party. 

     Regardless of your holiday plans, I hope these ideas will cultivate memories and traditions that bring you and your family closer together. Kids won't always remember the mundane, but they will remember the unexpected. Throw a little bit of creativity into your regular plans for the 4th, and your kids will remember it for years to come.

Help Set Your Kids Up for Financial Success

     Student loans are an enormous problem. The national student debt is now over $1.2 trillion (yes, trillion. With a "t"). Like most recent college graduates, I'm working to pay off my loans as quickly as possible. I've picked up a part time job to put more money towards my debt, and often my work day lasts from 7:30am to 10:30pm. I'm sure that working multiple jobs is a familiar way of life for many of you. The added work can be very stressful for both you as a parent and for your children. What if you could set your kids up for financial success? What if they didn't have to work a 2nd job when they get older?

     Best selling author and nationally syndicated radio talk show host Dave Ramsey has helped many people get out of debt and experience financial peace. Chris Brown, another member of the Ramsey Solutions family, wrote a insightful article on helping your kids avoid common money mistakes. Chris offers financial wisdom for parents with kids of any age with practical tips you can put into practice right now.

It starts at home. The Bible says that parents should “train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6), but many simply don’t feel equipped to teach their kids about money matters.

Check out "9 Ways to Teach Your Kids About Money."

     How do you teach your kids about money? What practical ways have you taught your kids how to manage their finances? Nobody does this perfectly, so it's ok to admit you're still learning. Leave a comment, and help us to learn from you!

Forget the Red Carpet - Make Your Own Awards Show

     February is awards season, which also means it's the month that I find out about all the movies and music I missed last year. The lists of nominees always make me think, "when did that movie come out?" or "I've never heard that song before" and "I need to pay more attention."

     But when it comes down to it, I just don't care. I don't care who's nominated, whose speech ran long, or who wins best-breakout-whatever. I don't usually watch a movie or listen to a song because they were nominated for an award. Like most of you, I make those choices based on recommendations from my friends and family. 

     Award season is the perfect chance to make our own lists of favorites and share them with everyone in the family. Your kids definitely have their favorite movies, TV shows, and music, and they would love to tell everyone about them! Forget the red carpet, and make your own awards show with your kids. Here's a few ideas to get your family started.

1) Make your lists.

     Give your kids a few categories, and let them pick their top 3 in each. If your family loves movies, you could make categories like "Funniest Movie," "Best Animated Movie," or "Movies My Friends and I Like." If you've got a family of readers, make categories for books like "Longest Book I Read Last Year," "Saddest/Scariest/Happiest Book I Read Last Year," or the classic "Favorite Book." You can make similar categories for music, tv shows, restaurants, games, etc.  

2) Present your favorites.

     This step can be as glamorous or as informal as you'd like. You can go all out decorating the family room to look like an awards show, or simply post your lists on the fridge. Give each member of your family the chance to present their lists while everyone else gives their full attention. The undivided attention will help each of your kids to feel loved, listened to, and appreciated.

3) Experience the winners together as a family.

     After the presentations are over, make time to experience each person's favorite book, song, movie, or show together as a family. Even if it might not be your personal favorite, you'll learn more about your kids and what makes them tick. Take advantage of the teachable moments in each of their picks, and talk to your kids about the messages and lessons that they communicate. Your kids will be thrilled that you took the time to share in their favorite things.

What movies, shows, or music do your kids like? Leave a comment and let us know what you would recommend to other parents, and what you would avoid. Let's learn together how to listen better to our children and enjoy the things that they love.

Routines That Work

     I don’t know about you, but nothing makes me feel more on top of things than when I fall into a good routine. It's true for me both at work and at home. If I have a regular plan for how things should go and I execute that plan well, things hum along smoothly. On the other hand, nothing makes me feel more off my game than when I can’t settle into a groove. If my routines are disrupted, I get grumpy fast (you’ve been warned!).

     I don’t think this just applies me. Routines help all of us by letting us put the unimportant parts of life on autopilot. We all have laundry, dishes, cleaning, and a million other things that need to get done. When we have to spend time actively thinking about all of those things, we get dragged down. Honesty check! Have you ever had these laundry room thoughts: 

• “How many more days can I go without doing laundry?”  
• “I definitely did not buy this many pairs of socks for my kids. Where did they all come from?!”
• “That business about separating light clothes from dark clothes is probably an urban legend. I'll just dump all the clothes in together!”

Note: These examples have no correlation with my personal experience (No really, I promise.).

     Hopefully you get my point. If we have to give mundane but necessary tasks our full mental attention, it keeps us from focusing on what's truly important. I know that I’d rather focus on my relationship with God, my wife, and my kids instead of undone laundry and dirty dishes. Routines can automate the ‘need to get done’ parts of our life so we can spend more time focusing on what matters.

     The pitfall of a routine, of course, is that things can become so rote, so run-of-the-mill, that we stop caring. We all need a Parenting Wake Up Call from time to time to make sure we’re not putting all of life on auto-pilot. Our routines need to serve our families, giving us more focused time with them, and not robbing us of meaningful interaction. I recently heard a story of a husband who sent automated emails to his wife if he was working late. Let me go on record and state that I think that is a bad idea.

     Here are three Lindell family routines that work wonders for our sanity (and with 5 kids, we’re taking all of the extra sanity we can find!).

• Laundry Sorting Wednesdays. Every Wednesday evening before we start our bedtime routine, we all get our laundry to the washing machine and sort it into piles. Huge piles, like mountains. We get the first load started right away. Getting that head start allows us to have all of our clean laundry fully put away 24 hours later.  
• Bedtime Clean Up. Most of our bedtime routine is pretty standard: PJs, brushing teeth, reading stories. However, before we start those things we begin with a whole house clean up. Getting all the toys and general clutter picked up before the kids go to bed makes everything feel so much more peaceful. When we forget this part of the routine even for a night or two, things get messy fast!
• Grocery Shopping. We go grocery shopping every two weeks. We always go on the same day at the same time. Our shopping routine has two benefits. First, we don’t spend time wondering when we’re going to the store next. Second, we save money. The less we shop the less we spend.

     What about you? What routines have you found that work for your family? We’d love to learn from you! Leave a comment and share your wisdom.

Web Catch of the Week: Make Creative Christmas Gifts with Your Kids

     The holidays are supposed to be all about family, but my calendar says otherwise. Every year at Thanksgiving and Christmas, I fight a battle to make extra time for family when everything else is fighting for more of my attention. I'm sure you've felt this pressure, too. I may not have the secret formula to help you conquer everything on your Christmas to-do list, but here's a few tips to make creative Christmas gifts while making memories with your family.

     Michael Corley gives us a creative way to make 3D pop-up Christmas cards in his blog post on My Kids Adventures. His simple step-by-step instructions make it easy to create these unique cards. Your kids can be as creative or as simple as they want, since a pop-up card offers the flexibility to let your kids' personalities shine through. No matter who you send it to, a card like this is sure to earn a prominent place on the fridge. This would make a great gift with an added personal touch for friends and family you don't get the chance to see during the holiday season.

     When my wife and I were first married, we were in college and didn't have a big budget for Christmas gifts. Instead of buying something unique for every person on our Christmas list, we made gift bags filled with different homemade candies and baked goods. Making these treats at home was not only much more cost effective than buying them from the store, they were much, much tastier! We made a lot of gift bags out of just a few items, and I still have the memory of spending time with my wife while assembling the gift bags at the kitchen table. You can make tasty, budget-friendly, and memory-making gifts like this with your kids by using some of your favorite holiday recipes. If you need some inspiration, check out these 3 blog posts for ideas:

• Peppermint Crunch Puppy Chow
• Christmas Caramel Popcorn
• Chocolate Cherry Clusters - No Bake Cookies

     Hopefully these ideas aren't just another thing to add to your growing to-do list. I hope that you can use these to accomplish your tasks while including your family in the process! Leave a comment to let us know how you get your kids involved in the Christmas season tasks. Other families would love to learn from you!

Web Catch of the Week: Reclaiming Your Family's Bedtime

  Recently my oldest son turned three years old. Part of his becoming a “big boy” was that we would no longer be giving him a pacifier when he went to bed. My wife and I knew that this would be a difficult transition for him and braced ourselves for that first bedtime routine without his pacifier. Thus began our new 45 minute-long bedtime routine of going to the bathroom multiple times, getting milk, reading books, praying, and convincing him that he was old enough to fall asleep on his own. This got me thinking of how I as a father and we as a family can reclaim some of this bedtime routine to make it more about Jesus.

     Prayer has been a staple of bedtime routines for most families, including mine. In his article, “Two Bedtime Prayers for Weary Parents”, Chad Ashby outlines some quick prayers that parents can say to keep Jesus the focus of bedtime. I appreciated his heart for helping both parents and their children think and pray through the Gospel even during potentially chaotic bedtime routines.

     David Willis writes that a great way to make bedtime the best part of your family’s day is to spend time encouraging one another before turning out the lights. I love the idea of spending time in quiet conversation to build one another up before calling it a day. This not only helps to reclaim bedtime, but strengthens our family’s communication and helps set a tone of love and encouragement that will carry over into other aspects of life. Check out his blog “How to Make ‘Bedtime’ the Best Part of Your Family’s Day”.

     What about your family? What have you done to reclaim your bedtime?