"Hey Dad, when can I get a phone?"

“Hey Dad, when can I get a phone?”  

“Uh… I’m not sure. Why do you need a phone?”

“I want to play Pokemon GO.”

     I know, I know. Pokemon GO is soooo last summer. But my kids are still really into it, so I downloaded it on my phone just for them. It's been fun to play together as a family. Now, my kids are getting a little impatient waiting for me to come home from work each day to play. I knew it was only a matter of time before they popped the question.

     Even if your child hasn’t brought it up, it's a pretty safe bet to say he or she wants a phone, tablet, or computer (or all-of-the-above) for Christmas. Maybe you've been waiting until all the Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals are announced to find the best price, but there are still a few other things we should consider for clicking that "Buy Now" button. There's a lot of great opportunities for your kids online, but there's also a lot of real danger. 

• What device is best for your kids' needs (and wants)?
• What will they want to use it for?
• How will you protect your kids from cyberbullying, predators, pornography, and all the other nasty stuff out there?
• How will you prevent their new toy from becoming an obsession?

If you need some help answering these questions, here's some tips I've learned as I researched solutions for my own kids.

SMARTPHONES

     My kids want a smartphone so badly. The only actual purpose they can give me for having one is playing Pokemon GO, but your kids might be feeling the pressure that "everyone else has one!" If your children are older and you're thinking about getting them a phone, Protect Young Minds has a great blog post about which smartphone is best for kids. The author, Nathaniel Holzman, does a great job of walking through factors like ease of set up, parental controls, and pricing. I don’t want to spoil the ending, but you'll never guess the winner of his head-to-head comparison.

iPADS (AND OTHER TABLETS)

     The nice thing about iPads is that the parental controls are the exact same as on an iPhone; they run the same operating system. The same thing goes for Android tablets and Android smartphones. You can check out the same smartphone article from above for details on setting filters and security policies for your kids with either of those operating systems.

Laptops

     Beyond parental controls, the reality is that tablets and phones are more likely to be used on time-wasting games than a laptop. A good kid-friendly laptop has a bit more potential to help them learn things like keyboarding, computer coding, and design - all practical skills that are a lot easier to learn on a laptop than on a phone or tablet.

     BestProducts.com has a great list of kid-friendly laptops for every budget. With so many different manufacturers and operating systems, laptops can be difficult to secure with parental controls. If you want to filter or block the content your child can access on a laptop, you might want to look into a service like Blocksi, Mobicip, or NetNanny (the one we use in my house). Without a filtering service, a child with an understanding of browsers and extensions can figure out how to bypass filters and protections on a laptop.

What Will you Buy?

     This is by no means an exhaustive list of all of the things you could potentially get your kids this Christmas. If you’d like to dive into more research, it’s as easy as going to Google and searching “best tablet for kids” or “parental controls for a (fill in your device)." Remember that we, as parents, are ultimately responsible to make a wise choice for our family. Our kids may not get 100% of what they want, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t what is best for them.  

Just make sure they share their best Pokemon GO tips with you along the way.

Should You Let Your Kids Read Whatever They Want?

Guest Post by Alaina Peterson

Who cares, right? Books are books!

     Well, sure. Books ARE books. If you’re going to choose between reading as a family and not reading as a family, choose reading. But when we take that extra step with kids, when we are intentional about what we put in front of them and what it means to them as they develop their sense of who they are in the world, we show them windows into other people's worlds and mirrors of who they are.

     Again, when it comes to reading with kids, the most important thing is also the simplest: just do it. Reading as a family creates a time for children to be physically close with parents and siblings but also address important topics that might not come up inside the home apart from reading books together.

     Questions about each other, about how God wants us to approach situations, about our own values – these questions flow naturally when we choose the right books. Kids’ love for language and reading and their love for family time can be fostered through quality books.

     Okay, done. We read together. Eric Carle, the Magic School Bus, Junie B. Jones, all the classics. Done. But guess what? There is SO much more to be had from literature when we stop to think about a few things.

Who is represented in this book?

     If it was similar to my childhood experience, the characters probably look a lot like this:

Are these characters our kids should look up to? Who are the “heroes”? Do all the people in the story look like me and come from my culture, or does the book show diversity in its characters?

What are the roles each of the characters hold?

     Who are the characters who are always in trouble and what do they look like? Are all of the heroes boys/girls? Who needs “saving”? If there is a family in the story, how does the family function?

Is there anything in this book that provokes us to talk about Jesus?

     Now, I am definitely not saying that all of your books should be Devotions for Kids, Jr. Bible, and the kids’ version of a Francis Chan book. What I am advocating is that you really look at books before you buy them. Walmart has some cute books, but very few 2.99 paperbacks will provoke you and your children to talk about Christ-like character in the way that quality books will.

     I challenge you to check out library books where the characters look and act VERY different from you! Your child can experience the world and its people through reading books written in Black English, Chicano English, books with children from China and India. Talk about God’s love for all people as you read! It is amazing the conversations that you can have with children when you explore something new together. Here we go, personal recommendations. Each of these shows a diverse group of people, gives deep and often spiritual topics to discuss, and are also just fun to read!

Book Recommendations

Ages 5+

• Last Stop on Market Street by Matt De La Peña, Illustrated by Christian Robinson
• Jack & Jim by Kitty Crowther
• I Love Saturdays y Domingos by Alma Flor Alda
• Tree of Cranes by Allen Say
• Do Like Kyla by Angela Johnson
• The Gruffalo by Julia Donaldson

Ages 8+

• Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
• The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes
• The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
• The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster

Ages 10+

• The Cay by Theodore Taylor
• Number the Stars by Lois Lowry
• The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

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Alaina Peterson served as a Site Director at COCUSA in 2016. Alaina and her husband Luke are currently studying at the University of Illinois where Alaina is majoring in elementary education with a minor in Spanish. You can get in touch with Alaina on Facebook.  

Are You Talking To God Through The Grapevine?

Everyone knows.

     My wife knows. My friends at work know. I've told my small group. Even my parents are in the loop. Everyone who's anyone has given me their wise advice. Now, as I reach the decision point, I realize I left someone out. I'm content sharing my anxieties, my struggles, and my fears with everyone - everyone except for God. I've been so busy talking to other people that it's almost like God's left to find out about it through the grapevine.

 

Talking to Everyone One Else But God.

     Lately, I've found myself seeking out Godly wisdom from people I trust more and more. Whether I’m discussing parenting and family situations with my accountability partner or asking for prayer from family members and friends from small group, God's been teaching me to reach out to others and trust them to offer guidance and care. But in doing this, I've neglected taking these concerns to God.

     Have you known you needed to spend time pouring your heart out to God but struggled to actually get on your knees? I often have the courage to open up with friends and family, but I rarely take the time to offer my requests to God. If I do make the time, I become easily distracted in my thoughts and lose focus. Whether it’s simply being distracted or finding it difficult to humble ourselves, it’s easy to let things get between us and our Heavenly Father.

Let's Be Direct.

     How can we be direct with God the same way we are with other people? As I searched for answers, I found a few resources that helped me focus.

     When consistency and depth is lacking in our prayer life, it’s helpful to try new ways to connect our hearts to the heart of God. Pastor Gavin Ortlund outlines several methods in his blog post “Seven Ways to Fight Distraction During Prayer”. One method I’ve been encouraged to use lately is “prayer with a pen.” Intentionality writing out a prayer to God might take a bigger time commitment, but I’ve found that needing to choose specific words helps me focus on what I’m truly hoping to communicate to God. Plus if I keep prayers in a journal or notebook, I can look back over them to see how God has provided and moved in my circumstances.

     Sometimes my lack of faithfulness in prayer goes deeper than simply being distracted. Fear and distress can also keep me from prayer instead of driving me towards my Heavenly Father. I appreciated Pastor Erik Raymond’s focus on the role that sin and guilt can play in keeping us from approaching God in prayer in his article “When Sin Keeps You from Prayer”. Although sometimes it’s difficult to consider my fears or exhaustion as sin, I resonated with his reminder that guilt multiplies. Often times I feel guilty over sin or for ignoring my need for prayer, and I get caught in a cycle of avoiding prayer because I feel guilty that I haven’t been praying!

A Prayer to Help Us Pray.

Refocus, talk to God, and be direct. Here's a passage that's helped me, and it's my personal prayer for all of us in this struggle:

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”  - Hebrews 4:15-16

24 Ways to Live Like Jesus

The Foundation for Jesus-Like Character

     I shuffled past all of my friends down the row of chairs. The room was dark, and it was hard to navigate through the maze of feet and chairs. I could feel every person I walked past looking at me, but I had to do this. There was no way out. As I reached the end of the row and stepped out into the aisle, there was my dad. He put his hand on my shoulder, and I told him.

     My dad doubled as my youth pastor when I was in high school. Our youth group had loaded up our church's 15 passenger van and made the 3-hour trek down to St. Loius for a conference. As we sat in the arena and listened to the speaker, I was convicted. I began to realize that the faith that I proclaimed was at odds with the way I lived. I believed in Jesus, but I didn't act like it. It was at this moment in front of all my friends that I knew I needed to tell someone. My dad was the listening ear as I made a commitment to live like Jesus. Now, I just had to figure out what that meant. 

     Faith in Jesus is the foundation for building Jesus-like character in our lives. Without his grace, we cannot live like him. Changing our behavior does not earn his love. Instead, we respond to his great love by becoming more like him through our actions, our motives, our thoughts, and our affections.

Elements of Jesus-Like Character

     At Camp, we want everyone to grow in their faith and share it with others. We developed a helpful tool to easily explain biblical character qualities to our campers. We call it the "Elements of Jesus-Like Character" chart. We've used these 24 character qualities in our summer camp program to teach children what it means to live like Jesus. The chart is designed like the periodic table, because we see that these character qualities are the building blocks of godly character. Each box contains:

• The name of a Character Quality
• An opposing quality to help further understanding
• A short, simple, and memorable definition
• A Scripture reference to see where this character quality is found in the Bible

View fullsize

     We've seen first hand how kids respond to these character qualities, and how well the definitions stick with them. We're committed to helping you disciple your kids at home, so we want to give you a free, high-resolution download of this poster! Print it out, make it your desktop background, or make it into a wall-hanger in your kids' room.

We pray that God will use this simple chart to help you make disciples at home.

P.S. We'd love to hear how you use this chart at home. Let us know what you do to help you kids live like Jesus by sending us an email at office@cocusa.org.

Getting Mad In The Car Might Not Be So Bad After All

     You're in the car with your family. You've been driving for who know how long. The mile markers whiz by like tall blades of grass as you stare blankly through the windshield. Your mind. is. blank. **BRAKE LIGHTS** **Stomp on brake pedal** **Swerve to avoid car** Where did they come from?! Didn't they see me?! How could they cut me off like that?! Where did they learn to drive?! 

     The kids are a little flustered, but everyone's all right. The mood calms down again. But your patience is about to be tested even more. Softly from the back seat, you hear the dreaded question.

"Are we there yet?"

     Normally, you might get frustrated at this, but it would be better if you got mad. No, I'm not talking about yelling at your kids, I'm talking about Mad Libs.

 

Mad Lib Stories

     You remember Mad Libs, right? You fill in the blanks and a totally random, hilarious story is written out of thin air. Here's one that I did just now:

Come get your Slimy discounts on all of your favorite brand name Piglets. Our Handsome and Parasailing sales associates are there to Lift you 68,909 hours a day. Here you will find Plump prices on the Hamsters you need.

 

How Do I Tell a Mad Lib Story?

     Erik Wolgemuth knows how hard it is to entertain our kids. He suggests that we tell “mad lib” stories as a way to keep their attention and involve them in the storytelling process. This technique of storytelling takes some of the pressure off of the storyteller (a.k.a. Mom & Dad) and gives the kids the chance to interact and insert funny words. It can also help to strengthen their vocabulary and grammar skills. Mad Lib storytelling is an easy, laid back family activity that will have everyone laughing on those long car rides. Check out his post titled, The [noun] that Dad Told was [adjective]: Mad Lib Storytelling on dadcraft.com. 

 

What If I'm Not a Good Storyteller?

     If you struggle with thinking of creative storylines, don’t worry! There’s an app for that! You can download the free “Mad Libs” app on the App Store or Google Play. I love this app. All you need to do is fill in the blanks with the nouns, adjectives, or adverbs, and Mad Libs spits out a hilarious story that (usually) doesn’t make any sense. Kids of all ages can participate in thinking of crazy words to add to the story. Mad Lib stories might just become your new favorite road trip game!

     Next time you're in the car with your family, try getting Mad instead of getting angry!

Halloween: 3 Controversial Things to Celebrate, Avoid, and Redeem

The Battle of Halloween

is second only to the War on Christmas, at least in terms of passionate tweets and boycotts. It seems that Christians get a bad rap for being "against" a lot of things surrounding this holiday. I've already lost count of the number of "Fall Festivals" and "Halloween Alternatives" at local churches on Halloween night. There are certainly negative and dangerous traditions that go along with Halloween, but it's also the single greatest evangelism holiday in America. When else will your neighbors, friends, and total strangers willingly walk up to your door to talk with you? Halloween night is opportunity unlike any other night to share the Gospel and show others what Jesus is like. 

     Assuming that you're not boycotting Halloween altogether (again, think of the Kingdom impact your could have!), you've probably wrestled with how to participate without getting sucked into all the negativity. Here are a few common questions about Halloween, and how you can Celebrate the good, Avoid the bad, and Redeem the traditions in light of the Gospel.

How Can I Help My Kids Pick An Appropriate Costume?

• Celebrate Creativity. Halloween costumes are a prime opportunity to help our kids think outside the box and get creative. We can encourage our kids to make their own costumes instead of buying one off the rack.
• Avoid Halloween Stores. These stores are bad news for a few reasons. 1) They are incredibly expensive and overpriced. Halloween stores are only around for 1-2 months a year, and therefore they mark up their products to astronomical levels in order to make it worthwhile. 2) They celebrate and normalize violence, occultic practices, and sexualization of adults and kids. The vast majority of the products at these pop-up Halloween stores are either explicitly inappropriate or send the wrong message about what is acceptable. ProtectYoungMinds.org has an insightful and helpful article on how sexualized Halloween costumes affect young girls and boys.
• Redeem Costumes of Postive Role Models. A lot of Halloween costumes represent negative (or at least neutral) role models. Kids and adults dress up as villains, specters, and otherwise bad people. We can encourage our kids to dress up as someone they admire and reinforce their positive influence. A role model can be real or fictional, but it should be someone who stands for justice and morality.

Should My Family Go Trick-or-Treating?

• Celebrate Community. Trick-or-Treating is more fun with friends and family. Instead of going alone, ask your kids to invite a friend from school (maybe you could even invite their whole family along too!). Welcome trick-or-treaters to your door with a smile and a compliment on their costume. You can't change how other people celebrate on Halloween night, but you can make your home inviting!
• Avoid Gluttony & Greed. ALL. OF. THE. CANDY. When the kids burst through the door with a bag full of sweets, we can teach them a valuable lesson about self-control by limiting their indulgence. It's ok to enjoy the loot, but we shouldn't get carried away into gluttony and greedy attitudes. Let's teach our kids to share what they have and enjoy it with others.
• Redeem Your Neighborhood Relationships. Like I said before, there is no other night of the year when everyone in your neighborhood willingly walks up to your door to talk with you. We need to find a way to meaningfully connect with the people that come to our door - have the best candy on the block, set up a photo booth for families, or invite the neighbors over for a Halloween party. We can start a conversation on Halloween that will turn into a chance to share the Gospel later.

Are Scary Movies OK for My Kids?

• Celebrate Empathy and Good Defeating Evil. Every channel on TV runs a Halloween special at some point around the 31st. Some of these are outright bad choices (read more below), but some movies give us a chance to teach our kids positive lessons. 1) Feeling empathy for a character who is scared is a good thing. We should encourage our kids to identify how they feel after being frightened and how they can recognize fear in others. Empathy helps us to show compassion to those who are hurt, scared, or alone. 2) When Good defeats Evil, the Gospel is on display. Every human story ultimately reflects the story of God. Sometimes you have to dig, but art almost always portrays a longing for God. When the bad guy is defeated and the hero triumphs, we are reminded in some small way that Jesus has defeated death and evil for good.
• Avoid Glorifying Slasher Violence & Occultic Practices. Violence and evil are a part of our broken world. There's no sense in completely sheltering our kids from negativity. If we're able to guide them through negative experiences with a firm faith and a critical mind, we can prepare our kids to face whatever life throws at them. However, there's not a lot of redemptive qualities in celebrating serial killers, summoning the dead, and glorifying sin. We should avoid these things altogether.
• Redeem Acts of True Bravery. Fear reveals character. Some run from fear and cower. Others face fear head on. During a holiday that celebrates fear, we should celebrate true bravery. In To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus Finch explains bravery to his son like this: "I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what." We can share stories of when we were afraid and the decisions we made. Whether we acted courageously or cowardly, we can still point to Christ. Jesus knew he was licked before he began, but he climbed up the hill, took the nails, and died in our place. That's true bravery.

Let's take advantage of this amazing chance to live like Jesus and turn Halloween into a Gospel-centered experience.

The Amazon Prime Prayer

     It's 8:48pm on Saturday night. I've already sunk an hour into this home project before realizing I don't have the right piece to finish the job. All the hardware stores will be closed by the time I get there, so crack open my laptop and find my way to Amazon.com. 30 minutes and 17 reviews later, I found what I need.

Click. Cart. Buy. Done.

     It's 10:46am on Sunday morning. I pull in to see a brown package leaning against my front door. I mentally run through all the things it could be. I'm not even thinking about the item I ordered 14 hours ago. I open the box and immediately drop it on the table. It. Is. Here. How? Was it magic? Do they deliver by rocket ship? I have no idea, but I was blown away that my order was here so fast. 

Patience is a lost art.

     Most things that we want we can get immediately - streaming movies, on demand TV, ordering pizza with an app. We live in a culture that celebrates instant gratification, and this bleeds over into our spiritual life. Many times we expect our prayers to work like Amazon Prime. We pray and then wait for God's answer to show up at our doorstep 14 hours later. 

     Sometimes, God says "no." Sometimes, he makes us wait. Sometimes, we don't understand why. But God is a good Father, and only he says "no" to say "yes" to something better. 

So what do we do when God makes us wait?

We preach the Gospel to ourselves.

     It's only by remembering of the grace of Jesus that we are truly able to endure the waiting. We wait through sleepless nights, chronic pain, bouts of sickness, nagging anxiety, and lingering doubt because we "have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer [we] who live, but Christ who lives in [us]" (Galatians 2:20a). Because of Jesus, we will practice the art of patience and wait to see how much better God's answer is than what we asked for.

Let's preach the Gospel to our family, and wait together to see what God does.

Make Columbus Day Count

School's out on Columbus Day. 

Don't waste your chance to make it count.

     If your kids have the day off from school on Columbus Day, what will they do all day? If you're still trying to figure out what they'll do, or - even more importantly - if you haven't found something meaningful for your kids to do, there's two ways you can make Columbus Day count with COCUSA.

     As a parent, I know we all face a lot of different options for our kids. Choosing the right activity, the right group, and the right program seems overwhelming in a sea of endless choices. Deep down, my biggest fear is that I will have wasted my kids' formative years with meaningless activities. I want the things my kids do to matter in the long term. That's why at COCUSA, we're passionate about giving each child a safe place to grow in their relationship with Jesus while having a ton of fun with their friends.

     The Curless family was looking for a meaningful place to help their kids grow in Pekin, IL. After hearing about COCUSA and giving it a shot, the Curlesses have sent their two children to summer camp for the last few years. Lynn Curless summed up the experience her two kids had this way:

The true value of having COCUSA in [our] children's lives is that they aren't just "babysat" during the summer… they are taught, engaged, challenged, loved, entertained, motivated, befriended, spiritually stimulated each and every day.

The Curless kids are already signed up for Fall Frenzy, and we can't wait to spend some time with them on Columbus Day! 

     If you're like Lynn and want your kids to have a meaningful experience on their days off from school this fall, here's a few ways we can help:

• FLAG FOOTBALL Skills Camp

  Brand New in 2016! Your child will practice some football fundamentals along with a few of their friends from summer camp. Our staff will lead your child through 4 training workshops throughout the day that focus on building their football skills, athleticism, and character. Everyone should walk away with a little better at football and a little closer to Jesus. 

• FALL FRENZY

  If Flag Football isn't your game, we're also offering our traditional Camp experience at Fall Frenzy. Just like a day of summer camp, we'll play some games, make a craft, sing some songs, and hear a story from the Bible. Your child will have a blast doing all the things they miss from summer camp (except swimming 😄). 

• Upcoming - Veterans Day Camps

Camp 11/11 is our traditional Camp experience on Friday, November 11. We'll also offer another Skills Camp to teach your kids more about creativity and different art forms. 

We can’t wait to see how God moves at COCUSA this school year, and we hope you'll be there to see it with us!

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P.S. Columbus Day could pass you by and feel like a wasted day. Don't let this opportunity for your kids grow in their walk with Jesus slip away. Decide now how your family will spend the day off. We'd love to have you join us at one of our Fall Camps.