How Will Your Kids Turn Out? Passing On What's Most Important

     As parents, we are the greatest influencers of our child’s attitudes and behaviors. Even more importantly, we shape our child’s values. These values are the overarching guidelines for how we act and are an integral part of who we are as Christians. Monkey see, monkey do. 

     It is important to consistently stress our values to our children. Of course, what we say about our values is important, but even more important (and what our kids will more quickly notice!) is how we respond to situations in relation with those values.

     When I was young, my father always stressed the importance of everyday education. He told me he valued learning, but his words would have meant nothing if his actions didn’t match. Fortunately, I would often see my dad with his nose in the newspaper or watching documentaries. This is a classic example of actions speaking louder than words.

     The same idea goes for our faith life. If we place our faith in Jesus Christ as one of our values, are we modeling behaviors that are in harmony with this value we want to instill in our children? Are we encouraging prayer and Christian actions in day-to-day life by simply talking about their importance or by actively looking for opportunities to take action ourselves and exemplify our values? FamilyLife.com has a great article on the importance of putting our values in practice as parents. If you’re uncertain how to model your values, it can help to first concretely define your values. Then, look for ways those values can be shown within your own life. This worksheet can help you define your values. 

     Parenting on purpose requires defining your values, living them out, and teaching them to your children. It will take self-discipline and persistence to effectively pass on your values to your kids, but you can do it!

4 Books Series to Read Aloud With Your Kids

     Reading good books out loud can bring a family together. Good books can give you great conversation starters. They can help promote the values and character you want to instill in your kids. Books let you dive into epic stories and explore tough topics where a movie would be too intense for kids. And if the books are exceptionally good, they give kids the chance to stay up past their bedtime!

    We love reading at our house. Our bedtime routine culminates with reading books out loud as a family. Here are four series that we've read recently that I would recommend as great read-a-louds to any kids:

The Chronicles of Narnia

by CS Lewis

     This is a longstanding classic story set and for good reason. Lewis has a knack for presenting his stories with wit and humor. He presents biblical themes and truth in a fun, engaging, and creative way.

The Little House Books

by Laura Ingalls Wilder

     This is a non-fiction series where the author shares stories of her childhood. Some of the things she lived through and experienced are amazing. They help my family appreciate what America was like 150 years ago. Every time I read Little House on the Prairie (the second book in the series), I am amazed by the things that happened to Laura and her family.

The Mysterious Benedict Society

by Trenton Lee Stewart

     This is one part mystery and one part puzzle/brain teaser. While it's not a series from a Christian author, it still promotes a ton of great qualities.  It's helped my family learn that you should do good when it's in your power to do so. These are definitely books that you can’t stop reading once you start.  

The Wingfeather Saga

by Andrew Peterson  

     This series started almost comical, but continues to get better and better. Instead of direct correlations to biblical themes (like The Chronicles of Narnia), there are general ideas of Good and Evil, helping others, and watching out for your family. Start with Book One - On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness.

     Reading with your family is a great way to building lasting memories and learn valuable lessons along the way. Head to the library, grab a few good books, and enjoy a family evening by diving into a story together!

When Your Child Asks About Race, What Do You Say?

     Our country has been hit hard in recent weeks. News cycles are packed with stories of violence, racial tension, heartbreak, and anger. Yes, there are stories of healing, restoration, and compassion. Yet even the glimmers of hope seem overshadowed by the stories of pain. As much as we may want to shelter our children from painful stories like these, they eventually reach our kids' ears. When your child asks about race, what do you say?

Step One: Look in the Mirror

     Kids are just beginning to develop empathy and social-awareness. They constantly look to others for cues on how to treat people. Kids need guidance in relating to others, especially with those who are different from them. As a parent, you are the most important and influential example to your child. Most of the time, our kids are tiny mirrors of our own character. Your response to racism and injustice shapes how your kids will respond. Your words and actions - even the subtle ones - form the baseline for your child's interactions with others. Before we take any steps forward, we all need to take a look in the mirror and contemplate how we respond to others who are different than us.

Step Two: Define the Problem in Simple Terms

     One of the reasons that racism is so hard to defeat is that it's hard to pin down. It's easy to identify the blatant, name-calling, sign-carrying racist. But it's a lot more difficult to call out the person with an unspoken racist attitude. When we talk to our kids about race, we should be as clear and as simple as possible. It all starts with God's Word. Here's a few Bible passages you can study with your family to learn about God's purpose for race, ethnicity, and redemption.

• Genesis 1:26-31 - God creates the first man and woman. God makes it clear that every human is created in His image, and each one has equal worth and value.

• John 4 - Jesus shows radical love to a marginalized woman from Samaria. Even though the context is different from our culture, the racial tensions between Jews and Samaritans parallel the issues in our day. The social rules of the time should have prevented Jesus from talking to a stranger of a different ethnicity and gender. Jesus defied all these social norms and extended a hand of compassion to another person in need.

• Romans 10:11-13 - The apostle Paul teaches us that when it comes to the family of God, "there is no distinction between Jew and Greek" (Romans 10:12). Jesus freely gives his grace to everyone who calls on his name, not just those who belong to a certain race or ethnicity.
   
• Galatians 3:23-29 - Paul again writes about the inclusivity among Christians. We are sons and daughters of God our Father because of Jesus Christ. God never excludes us or lowers our status based on our ethnicity, social standing, or gender. "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28). God's family is not color blind or gender neutral, but celebrates God's glory on display through each unique individual. 

Step Three: Demonstrate Love Together as a Family

     Hashtags, videos, and social media help reveal the problems, but they will never be the source of healing. People are very resistant to change, but a person is much more open to discussion. Changing the systemic problems starts by changing a single person. Racism, injustice, inequality, and prejudice melt away in light of the Gospel. We must share the hope and love of Christ with the individuals we have around us. No matter where you live, there is opportunity for your family to give healing to those who are hurting. 

What Now?

     Many people are asking the question, "What do we do now?" A clear answer or a concrete solution has not emerged just yet. However, we can do the hard work of mourning with those who mourn, feeling their pain, and developing empathy for those who are hurting. We can look to Jesus.

     Jesus came as man, felt our pain, bore our sin, and carried our cross. He didn't try to explain away the pain or teach us why our pain wasn't justified. Jesus loved. He loved to the point of death. We can follow the example of Jesus by being present for those who are hurting.

     When your kids ask about race, demonstrate love. Model empathy. Most of all, respond with grace. 

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I don't have many answers, but you can check out these resources for more understanding on the topic of race from a biblical perspective.

• Bloodlines - by John Piper. Download the free ebook about race, the cross, and the Christian. You can also watch a short film from John Piper based on the book.
• Matt Chandler led a panel discussion with 4 African-American church leaders from The Village Church (Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas) on empathy, healing, and how we all can move forward together.
• Russell Moore wrote an article on The Gospel Coalition's blog about the nuances between political, moral, and practical solutions to injustice.
• Lecrae, a hip-hop artist and outspoken Christian, wrote an insightful guest essay for Billboard.com about humility and empathy in understanding race relations.
• K. Edward Copeland, pastor of New Zion Baptist Church (Rockford, IL) and member of The Gospel Coalition, delivered a timely and helpful message to his congregation about the importance of empathy and prayer in the middle of this difficult summer.

Quality & Quantity - Making Time With Your Kids

     Each year seems to have a season that is a little more busy than the rest. We have times when our career is more hectic, our responsibilities increase, and our time at home seems to be rare. For my family, this season is the summertime. Summers at Camp of Champions USA are full of games, field trips, swimming, discipleship, and hot dogs; but the long summer days at Camp can be tough on my family, especially my kids. Every day I come home to smiles and big hugs from my son and daughter. It’s one of my favorite parts of the day. But it can be challenging for my kids when I’m gone before they wake up and don’t come home until dinner time. They notice the fewer hours that I spend with them during the summer months. 

     I stumbled across an article on familylife.com by Dan Sheaffer called “8 Creative Ways for Dads to Spend Time With Their Toddlers” that really resonated with me. In his article, Sheaffer describes an experience when his son began acting out when he would return home from work. He offers eight ways to intentionally connect with your kids when life is crazy.

     One of his ideas, “go outside to play” is simple but profound. I run around outside with kids all day during the summer and sometimes the last thing I want to do is go to a park or play on the swings when I get home. I’m tired, and I suspect most parents are when they get home from work. But showing my kids that quality time playing with them is a priority to me makes a huge impact on them.

     Sheaffer also recommends running errands with your kids. This is something I have found very beneficial. Anytime I have to run out to grab something, I take one of my kids with me. Even though running errands might not be an inherently exciting activity, we call them “daddy dates” and try to make them fun. For example, if I need to run to the grocery store, I’ll take my son with me and let him push a kid’s size shopping cart around and help me scan our items at the self checkout. My kids and I have both come to cherish these moments during the craziness of summers. More importantly, it allows us space to talk, share, pray, and play together. It helps me make sure that I'm striving to disciple my own kids as much as I disciple others at Camp. 

What does quality time with your kids look like? How do you make time to spend with them during busy seasons of life? Take a moment and write out a goal for yourself on how you can spend better quality and quantity time with your kids.

Have a Fun & Frugal 4th of July

     4th of July is one of my favorite holidays, mainly because it is usually filled with delicious food, pretty fireworks, and great company. If you've ever thrown a themed party, you know that hosting can be a stressful and expensive experience. Oh, but it doesn't have to be! Whether you plan on inviting the whole neighborhood over or just want an easy and special treat for your family, there are endless creative ideas out there! Here's just a few:

     Kara has included 15 different treats and decorative ideas for 4th of July on her blog Saving by Design. From patriotic fruit and cheese trays to a refurbished painted pallet, you will find that the majority of her ideas are fun, frugal, and easy! For all you moms and dads with full calendars, you will have no trouble pulling together a quick snack or activity this holiday for your friends and family.

     And if you need help with the small details, Kathy over at The Budget Decorator has some great, affordable DIY decorations that will be a breeze to pull together if you decide to have a spur of the moment party. 

     Regardless of your holiday plans, I hope these ideas will cultivate memories and traditions that bring you and your family closer together. Kids won't always remember the mundane, but they will remember the unexpected. Throw a little bit of creativity into your regular plans for the 4th, and your kids will remember it for years to come.

How We Share the Good News With Your Kids (and others!)

    One of the things we do at COCUSA is partner with parents just like you to help your kids grown spiritually. We love to help parents teach their kids about God through Bible stories, prayer, and devotions. Every Wednesday morning at Camp, we share the Gospel message - the ultimate story of how Jesus rescued us from sin and death. If you've ever wanted to teach your kids about God, but didn't know where to start, here's the 3 short and simple methods we use at Camp for sharing the Good News.

The Wordless Book

     The Wordless Book from Child Evangelism Fellowship (CEF) uses 5 different colored pages to tell the Gospel story. As you probably guessed, the book doesn't have any words, which makes the Wordless Book a great tool for every age. The first page is Gold which reminds us of heaven and God's glory. Even though we were created to be with God, we are separated from him by our sin. The Dark page reminds us of our sin that keeps us from enjoying happy, eternal life with God. The Red page reminds us of Jesus' blood, which paid the price for our sin. The Clean page reminds us that we are washed clean of our sin through Jesus' death and resurrection. The Green page reminds us that since God has made us new, we are to grow to become more like him. Check out each of the links to see a full explanation of each page along with related Scripture references.

The Bridge to Life

     The Bridge to Life is an evangelism tool developed by the Navigators. This Gospel sharing method is great for sharing the Good News concisely and visually - anyone can draw the picture on a napkin and tell the story in just a couple minutes. We all find ourselves on one side of a canyon. On the other side of the canyone is God, who has peace, forgiveness, and abundant life. We are separated from God because of our sin and rebellion with no hope to ever cross over to God on our own. Jesus death on the cross in our place and his resurrection from the dead serve as a bridge from us to God. Jesus stands in the gap to let us cross over from death to life. Check out the link for a full explanation and illustration of the Bridge.

The Gospel Journey (or Life in 6 Words)

     The Gospel Journey (aka "Life in 6 Words") tells the whole story of the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. This method uses the word "G.O.S.P.E.L." as an acronym to share the Good News. "G" - God created us to be with him. "O" - our sin separates us from God. "S" - sin cannot be removed by good deeds. "P" - paying the price for sin, Jesus died and rose again. "E" - everone who trusts in Jesus alone has eternal life. "L" - Life with Jesus starts now and lasts forever. Lifein6words.com has a great video from hip-hop artists Propoganda that creatively tells the story of the Gospel Journey.

     You can use any of these methods to share the Good News with your kids. You can also adapt each of these Gospel presentations to any age, so use them at the office, with your neighbors, and with anyone you meet.

What You Need to Know About Instagram and Your Kids

     It seems there is no end to the march of new apps, websites, and social media services. Instagram is one of the most popular social media services out there. With its recent redesign, additional features, and updated terms & conditions, now is a great time to take (another?) close look at this incredibly popular photo sharing app. 

     Technically, the minimum age to use Instagram (along with many other social media services) is 13. Unfortunately, it’s all too easy for a child with a smart phone or tablet to set up an account and fudge on their birthdate. The reality is Instagram isn’t for kids. Here’s a few reasons why:

     Chris McKenna recently blogged on Protect Young Minds. He shares 5 hidden dangers in Instagram. The scariest to me is the fact that the photos on instagram are not filtered in anyway whatsoever. It only takes a child a few minutes to understand how hashtag (#) searches work, and they can scan Instagram looking for pictures in any topic they want. The absence of parental controls and the easily erasable search history make Instagram dangerous ground for any kid. Chris warns they could easily find something they shouldn’t, and parents may never know.

     This article and video from Craig Gross on iParent.TV delves into similar dangers. He calls out the specific risk that children could directly access pornography through Instagram. While Instagram technically does not allow porn on its service, the workaround that people have found is using misspelled hashtags to represent pornographic images. This is a danger that no parent should take lightly.

Yikes.

     So what do you do with Instagram? First of all, if you have a child under 13, you should hold the line and not let them have an account. Second, after your child is old enough, have a specific conversation with them about the dangers of Instagram.

     Don’t get me wrong, Instagram can be a lot of fun. Camp of Champions USA has our own Instagram account (@cocusa1995), and we love connecting with our summer staff and parents through pictures and videos. But let’s be wise as we parent our kids through this and all social media services.  

     Do you or your child use Instagram? What have you done to protect you and your family from some of the dangers?

Staycation in Style: Make the Most of Your Summer Family Time

Summer is officially here!

     You probably have a lot of plans for your family. They might be plans for some low-key, quality time at home, or they might be plans for an incredible summer get away. If your family is like mine, no matter how many plans you make, at some point you still wind up at home on a weeknight with "nothing to do." Why not take advantage of all the interesting things to do in your community? You can staycation in style with these helpful tips.

     Ruth Soukup gives us 25 Awesome Staycation Ideas in her blog post on Living Well Spending Less (livingwellspendingless.com). One thing I learned from her post is to set some ground rules for your famliy before you head out on the town. These rules might include "no cell phones," "no cooking/cleaning/laundry," "no TV/movies/video games," or "no worrying," These rules help to keep your family time focused on what's really important: Family!

     In her post on My Kids Adventures (mykidsadventures.com), Debra Eckerling gives us 26 Staycation Ideas to Rejuvenate Your Family. She lists activities from A to Z that you can try with your familiy in just about any community. One of my favorite activities from her list is exploring your own neighorhood. You could take a walk to a part of town you don't normally visit, or drive around while letting your kids navigate. Another great idea from Debra's list is checking into a local hotel. Your kids will love the change of pace, swimming in the hotel pool, and all the other perks a hotel has to offer. Take the opportunity to try a new restaurant or simply order pizza to your room. A short get away will be a blast for your kids, and easy on your schedule. 

     Each of these lists has lots of other great ideas. Get creative, and make the most of your summer family time!