3 Ways to Keep Your Kids Safe

““DO NOT take candy from strangers” ”

With Halloween just around the corner, it made me think of the ultimate advice that parents give to their children.

     The irony with this advice is that on Halloween night we actually encourage children to ask for candy from complete strangers. And actually, there's a bigger problem with the candy-from-strangers cliche: While strangers can be dangerous, our children face more danger from people they actually know. According to the Department of Justice, strangers account for only 10% of all abuse cases, while acquaintances account for 90%. 

     That's not the typical scare we expect so close to Halloween, but if this is the reality of the world we live in, then it’s worth thinking about.  

Here are three specific things you can do to help keep your kids safe.

1. Teach your kids the basics of personal boundaries. At Camp, we teach our campers to “Respect everyone with your hands and feet.” It’s important for children to know what's appropriate both physically and conversationally. Let your kids know that anyone who crosses those boundaries is doing something wrong. Teach them to tell you about it right away. 
2. Encourage your kids to stay in groups of three. "Groups of 3" is a rule that we heavily emphasize at Camp both with our campers and with our staff. We never allow anyone to be alone with another person. It may seem extreme, especially if it's someone you trust, but this safeguard can go a long way in protecting your child. Encourage them to follow the Groups of 3 rule at church events, in child care settings, and even on play dates at a best friend's house. There's power and accountability in numbers.
3. Lastly, ask organizations about their hiring (or volunteer recruiting) processes. Any organization that cares for kids should have specific pieces in their hiring and training processes to protect kids from potential abuse. If the place you’re sending your child can’t tell you anything about their screening or protection processes, you might want to think twice before using it. At COCUSA, we utilize background checks, personal and professional references, and interviews to screen our potential staff. After they are hired, we also train them in key procedures that relate to child safety.

As parents, we have the responsibility to protect our kids as much as possible.  

     So go ahead and give the standard “no candy from strangers” advice to your kids this Halloween. After all, you never know when there might be a candy-sharing boogie-man around the next block. But let’s work on keeping them safe throughout the year too. The awkward conversations or strange looks from other parents are definitely worth it to keep your child safe.

Web Catch of the Week: Fall Favorites

     Fall is a season deeply rooted in traditions. It goes beyond putting on a costume and exploring different neighborhoods for the best candy stashes. At first I thought the obsession with apple orchards, pumpkin patches, and the #PSL (Pumpkin Spice Latte) was strictly for us in the Midwest. Turns out the trend has spread to areas like Houston, TX where my friend took her daughter to a pumpkin patch in 90 degree weather last week!

     Now that the weather is beginning to reflect the season, why not pass on some of your favorite fall traditions to your family? You can build some lasting memories with your kids by taking just a few minutes to do something out of your ordinary routine. Here are a few ideas to help get you started.

Here's one of our campers showing off her pumpkin jar from our Fall Frenzy craft.

     At our Fall Frenzy program, we transformed some old baby food jars with a little bit of paint to make tiny pumpkins and apples. You can easily make these at home using any kind of jar. They're perfect to fill with candy or other goodies to give as a gift. Check out step-by-step instructions for this fall craft by visiting The 36th Avenue blog.

     If you're still in search of some autumn activities and crafts for your family, Katie Femia put together a great list of fall activities perfect for kids and adults in her guest post on the blog Premeditated Leftovers. She also includes a few helpful links to recipes, crafts, and other family activities. Check out "30 Ways to Slow Down and Enjoy Fall." 

     What fall traditions does your family have? Are there any foods, places, or activities that you like to enjoy during the fall? Share your fall favorites in the comments, and help us all make lasting memories with our families.

Letting Kids Lead the Conversation

     At Camp, we keep a quote book at each of our sites where staff members write down the hilarious and random things that campers say throughout the summer. Reading through these quote books often makes me laugh until my stomach hurts, especially if there's a group of staff around to reminisce with. Here's a sample from one of the quote books that I dusted off recently:

“No offense, but you have hairy legs.”

“Camper: “Do you live with your mom?”
Counselor: “Yeah...”
Camper: “Does she say anything about your mustache?”
Counselor: “No, why?”
Camper: “‘Cause that’s just wrong!””

“Camper 1: “Why do you have a bump in your throat?”
Camper 2: “It’s an Adam’s apple.”
Camper 1: “What’s that?”
Camper 2: “I swallowed an apple named Adam!””

““My neck looks like a large intestine!” ”

     Kids say crazy things; that seems to be a law of the universe on par with gravity or losing a sock in the laundry. What's amazing to me is that the funniest kids are never the ones who try to make you laugh. The funniest kids are the ones who share their honest, unfiltered, unbiased thoughts of the world around them. They're exploring their surroundings, experimenting with the boundaries of their knowledge, and figuring out how things work. Their questions and observations that make us adults laugh are helping them to understand the world.

     As parents, we enjoy this child-like quality in private settings, but we're often quick to shut it down in public settings. Disagree? Read through those quotes again and imagine that your kid was saying something like that to your boss. How about their teacher? What about the President? You'd probably immediately apologize and send your child off to play somewhere far, far away from the adults. I'm guilty of this feeling, too. In all my years working at COCUSA, I'm always the most anxious about kids' behavior when other parents are around. I feel personally responsible for every word each camper says, and I've been thoroughly embarrassed on countless occasions. 

     To be sure, there are times when kids cross the line and need to be corrected. But what if we took a new approach in responding their crazy questions? What if instead of putting a stop to it, we let kids' questions lead our conversations? When your son tells your coworker that they have hairy legs, you can affirm their observation by saying something like, "That's right, God made all of us a little different!" When your daughter says that her neck looks like a large intestine, take the opportunity to ask where she learned that and talk about how God put our bodies together (of course, you should laugh together first, because that's just funny).

What if we let kids' questions lead our conversations?

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     I think the reason we shut down this kind of talk in public is because we are worried that our peers will judge us for how our kids speak. They are, after all, tiny versions of us. If we removed our pride from the equation and embraced the random, chaotic curiosity of our kids, I think we could encourage our children to be life-long learners. Answering their silly questions now will help them to ask better questions later. It will also prove to them that we are trustworthy sources who they can come to with their questions, no matter how simple or complex they may be.

When have your kids embarrassed you with their questions? Share a funny story in the comments! 

Web Catch of the Week: Can We Really Stop Bullying?

     The word “bully” is thrown around a lot. Our culture has done a lot of work to raise awareness and fight against bullying. Countless parents, teachers, political figures, and celebrities have all joined this battle, and our kids seem more aware of bullying than ever. The U.S. Department of Health & Human Services declared October as Bullying Prevention Month, and the hashtag #stopbullying365 is already getting a lot of attention. Even with all the education and attention this issue receives, I don't see the problem of bullying ever going away completely. So the question becomes, how can we prepare our kids to face bullying?
    Dr. Laura Markham is the founding editor of the Aha! Parenting blog. In her post "10 Ways to Empower Your Child Against Bullying," she shares some practical advice for both parents and kids to prepare to face bullying. I thought her advice on helping your kids prepare for a bullying situation through role-playing at home was particularly helpful.
     What if you are concerned that your child is bullying others? Tim Kimmel, author of "Grace Based Parenting" and founder of the Family Matters organization, shares some challenging but helpful tips to addressing your child's overbearing tendencies. Listen to this 1-minute audio, "How to Raise a Bully." 
     Feel free to share your stories about bullying in the comments. How have you helped your kids prepare to face bullying? What have you done to address bullying after the fact?

Fall Frenzy 2015

     In many ways, the fact that we've all made it this far into the school year is quite remarkable. The amount of change that happens in a family between mid-August and the end of September can be staggering - new schools, new schedules, and new friends. Just as we think we've got the hang of this new routine, Columbus Day sneaks up on us. Columbus Day is one of those holidays that's easy to forget about, and it's also a day that's difficult to find someone to watch your kids while they're off of school. Don't worry! COCUSA has your back.

     On Columbus Day, October 12, we will be holding our annual Fall Frenzy. We have a fun day planned that's packed with all of the activities and games that kids loved from summer camp. We're excited about connecting with all of you, and we hope that your kids will look forward to seeing their Camp friends and summer staff. We're even more excited to teach kids from the Bible and remind them of the importance of Jesus!  

     Fall Frenzy runs during normal Camp hours from 7:30am-5:30pm (our program runs 9am-4pm). We have three COCUSA locations to choose from: East Peoria Camp, Pekin Camp, and the Peoria Christian Center. We'll have a cookout at lunch time, but feel free to send a sack lunch with your kids if they're a picky eater. 

register for Fall Frenzy online by clicking the button below. 

If you're a pen-and-paper kind of person, you can download and print off the paper registration form here. Just make sure to fill out a separate form for each camper.

     If you have a friend, coworker, or family member who needs childcare on Columbus Day, share this post with them by emailing the link or using the Share button below to spread the word on your social media networks. We can't wait to see you at Fall Frenzy!

Web Catch of the Week: Reclaiming Your Family's Bedtime

  Recently my oldest son turned three years old. Part of his becoming a “big boy” was that we would no longer be giving him a pacifier when he went to bed. My wife and I knew that this would be a difficult transition for him and braced ourselves for that first bedtime routine without his pacifier. Thus began our new 45 minute-long bedtime routine of going to the bathroom multiple times, getting milk, reading books, praying, and convincing him that he was old enough to fall asleep on his own. This got me thinking of how I as a father and we as a family can reclaim some of this bedtime routine to make it more about Jesus.

     Prayer has been a staple of bedtime routines for most families, including mine. In his article, “Two Bedtime Prayers for Weary Parents”, Chad Ashby outlines some quick prayers that parents can say to keep Jesus the focus of bedtime. I appreciated his heart for helping both parents and their children think and pray through the Gospel even during potentially chaotic bedtime routines.

     David Willis writes that a great way to make bedtime the best part of your family’s day is to spend time encouraging one another before turning out the lights. I love the idea of spending time in quiet conversation to build one another up before calling it a day. This not only helps to reclaim bedtime, but strengthens our family’s communication and helps set a tone of love and encouragement that will carry over into other aspects of life. Check out his blog “How to Make ‘Bedtime’ the Best Part of Your Family’s Day”.

     What about your family? What have you done to reclaim your bedtime?

A Home Should Be An Experience

Ever feel like your house is a constant mess, your priorities are way out of whack, and you’re terrified to let people into the chaos of your life? We need to learn not to sweat the small stuff in order to truly experience the big stuff.

     My husband Isaac comes from a large family of seven children. Now, five of them are married, three have children (totaling seven beautiful nieces and nephews), one is engaged, and the youngest is away at college. We drove out to D.C. over Labor Day weekend to spend some relaxed, quality time with his oldest brother and his family, which we do not do enough. Their kids are ages seven, five, and three, and each one is so uniquely individual and wildly fun.

     Since we are separated by 800 miles of highway, it has taken me some years to really get to know my sister-in-law, Brooke. She is a complex person in the most positive sense of the word. She homeschools her kids (saint worthy), is a gifted musician who plays on her church worship team, is artistic, and kind. That being said, she is also one of the most hospitable people I have come to know. The whole weekend we stayed in their home, toys flooded the beautifully decorated formal living room, dirty dishes stayed in the sink until far past dinner time, and a four-month-old puppy clumsily frolicked among the free-spirited children who seemed to be in their underwear or swimsuits more often than “appropriate” clothing. And we were all perfectly content.

     I truly believe that the host of the house sets the tone for anyone who enters his/her home. In addition to her hospitality, Brooke holds incredible wisdom that deserves proper attention. One thing she said over our weekend together really stuck with me: 

“A home should be an experience for anyone who enters it.”

After pondering that idea for a while, I reflected back on all of the experiences I was able to walk away with after our visit with them. Their house wasn’t pristine, their children weren’t perfectly behaved, their dog wasn’t fully trained; but the food was delicious and abundant, the people were present, friendly and at times a great comic relief, and the house overflowed with love. 

     Every parent - whether you're a mom who seem like she can never catch up on their to-do list, or a dad who constantly comes home stressed and overwhelmed - let this be an encouraging reminder to you. A house doesn’t need to be clean to be welcoming, your kids don’t need to act or dress a certain way to be loved and Biblically disciplined, and there will never be a perfect time to invite someone over for coffee or dinner, but that shouldn’t stop you! Now is the time to make memories with your children, read God’s word to them, spend time with family and friends, and have some fun. You deserve it. After all, God himself says:

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:8-10 (NIV)

Click the quote below to Tweet it now!

"A home should be an experience for anyone who enters it."

Web Catch of the Week: Addicted to your Smartphone

Addicted to Your Smartphone

If you are one of the 64% of Americans that own a smartphone, you are intimately familiar with the addictive feeling of always staying connected. Whether it's responding to a text, checking your email, updating your status, or posting a picture, there's always "just one more thing" to check. With smartphone usage so widespread, their addictive tendencies can be subtle (not to mention culturally acceptable). This week's Web Catch of the Week features two resources on battling smartphone addiction from Desiring God. 

Christina Fox writes about her experiences of being distracted by her smartphone to the neglect of her kids. She offers some solid advice for fighting against the distracting habits of her phone, as well as some helpful passages of Scripture to memorize and apply. Check out her post, "When Distractions Keep Us From Our Kids." 

Trip Lee is a musician, author, husband, and a father. He was a special guest on an episode of the Ask Pastor John podcast where he talks about his personal battle to put down his phone and spend time with his family. I really enjoyed the connection that he makes between reading tweets and reading the Bible. Listen to this short audio recording from Trip Lee, "Avoiding Smartphone iDolatry."