What Are Your Non-negotiables?

     I find myself pulled in so many different directions at times - family, work (plus a second job), friends, church, chores, the gym, hobbies. If you’re like me, it always seems like there's something I’m forgetting or something that falls to the side that doesn’t get enough of my attention. I often get more stressed when I get busier, but I don’t always get more productive. Spinning your wheels and going nowhere is really disheartening. Through these especially busy seasons of life, I’ve discovered one essential piece of advice that will help you focus on what’s most important. 

     To focus on what's important, you first have to identify the important things in your life. What are your non-negotiables on your calendar? These non-negotiables are things that you NEVER miss. It might be church on Sunday mornings, hitting the gym after work, or family dinner on Tuesday nights. After you identify them, schedule your non-negotiables first. Put them on your calendar first before the less important things take up space. Plan your days, weeks, and months around these essential, important, no-exceptions events. 

     For me, work, my second job, and church are the three things that are non-negotiable (as an unmarried guy, I am not ignoring my family, don’t worry!). Since these three things dictate a lot of my schedule, they go on the calendar first. Then I schedule the less important, more flexible events around the important ones. When I have free time with my friends or family, I make sure that I give them my undivided attention. I turn off my phone when I am visiting my mom. I don't check my email when I'm with my friends. I want each person I'm with to know that my focus is on them and not worries about my job or other things.

     If you take the time to identify and schedule your non-negotiables first, even when you get busy, you'll still be focused on what matters. Sometimes busyness creeps in when we let a lot of little, unimportant tasks fill up our time. To effectively love our family and find success at work, we all need to define and focus on what's most important.

What's most important to you? When will you focus on it? 

---

P.S. If you want to learn more about this concept, Craig Groeschel of Life Church has some excellent lessons on time management (watch part 1 and part 2). 

Staycation in Style: Make the Most of Your Summer Family Time

Summer is officially here!

     You probably have a lot of plans for your family. They might be plans for some low-key, quality time at home, or they might be plans for an incredible summer get away. If your family is like mine, no matter how many plans you make, at some point you still wind up at home on a weeknight with "nothing to do." Why not take advantage of all the interesting things to do in your community? You can staycation in style with these helpful tips.

     Ruth Soukup gives us 25 Awesome Staycation Ideas in her blog post on Living Well Spending Less (livingwellspendingless.com). One thing I learned from her post is to set some ground rules for your famliy before you head out on the town. These rules might include "no cell phones," "no cooking/cleaning/laundry," "no TV/movies/video games," or "no worrying," These rules help to keep your family time focused on what's really important: Family!

     In her post on My Kids Adventures (mykidsadventures.com), Debra Eckerling gives us 26 Staycation Ideas to Rejuvenate Your Family. She lists activities from A to Z that you can try with your familiy in just about any community. One of my favorite activities from her list is exploring your own neighorhood. You could take a walk to a part of town you don't normally visit, or drive around while letting your kids navigate. Another great idea from Debra's list is checking into a local hotel. Your kids will love the change of pace, swimming in the hotel pool, and all the other perks a hotel has to offer. Take the opportunity to try a new restaurant or simply order pizza to your room. A short get away will be a blast for your kids, and easy on your schedule. 

     Each of these lists has lots of other great ideas. Get creative, and make the most of your summer family time!

It's Not Too Late to Make Your Summer Count

     Camp of Champions USA exists to serve families by giving your child a fun, safe, and gospel-centered summer. We hope and pray that you will be able to join us for an incredible ride over the next three months, as we teach from the Bible, lead your kids in prayer and character development, all while singing silly songs, going swimming, playing crazy games, and having a blast! Whether you're looking for child care all summer long, or just want to give your kids a week to remember, we're here to serve you.

     It's not too late to register for summer camp! The deadline to register for the first week of Camp (May 31-June 3) is tomorrow, May 24.  

     Summer camp starts on May 31, and many of your kids may already be done with school! If you are already registered with COCUSA, we can't wait to see you. 

Click the big red button below to register- but hurry, space is limited!

Getting God's Word into Our Home

     I’m always on the lookout for different ways to make God’s Word a centerpiece in our home. When I’m at a friend’s house and I see a children’s Bible I’ve never read before, I sit down and flip through it to see if it’s any good (usually without asking!). I do the same thing for kids devotionals. I want to find great Bibles and great devotionals that help my kids get into God’s word. One of my recent finds is Seeds Family Worship (www.seedsfamilyworship.com). Seeds is a music ministry that puts the Bible to music. It's quickly becoming a favorite at our house.

     I know what you’re thinking (because I thought the same thing when my wife told me): Forcing a tune onto a Bible verse usually doesn’t work out. But when I gave Seeds a listen, I was pleasantly surprised! Far from being annoying, lame, or trying too hard, Seeds puts the Bible to music with creativity and quality.

Click here to check out their video for "The Good Song (Psalm 34:10)."

     Besides being decent music, the main reason I was sold on Seeds Family Worship was that it helped our family memorize Scripture. Nothing gets stuck in your head like a good song lyric, and since Seeds’ lyrics are taken directly from the Bible, it’s a win-win! My three-year-old quoted Philippians 4:6-7 in it's entirety: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition present your requests to God.” 

     The Seeds Family Worship website has a blog with continuing encouragement to memorize God’s word, and inspiring parenting and family posts from time to time. I found one article about how to prioritize family relationships during the busy times that particularlly impacted me. "When Time Is a Four Letter Word," written by Sarah Patrick, comes from the perspective of a family where the husband travels extensively for work. Even though my family situation is different, there are many good take-aways for all of us who find ourselves in a crazy, hectic schedule. I appreciated the reminders to put Jesus first, be friends, and communicate as much as possible.

     What do you do to make sure God’s Word is in your home? Leave us a comment!  

Discipline and Celebration: Discipleship at Home

     There's tension in my house. I try to navigate it every day with my kids, but it's tough to balance. I want my kids to grow to know, love, and live like Jesus, but I sometimes that seems like an unattainable goal. In parenting them to live like Christ, I've found two contrasting areas that are an especially difficult challenge: Discipline & Celebration.

Discipline

     Discipline is a skill that every parent learns along the way - no one comes by it naturally. All kids need to be corrected, and it's amazing to me how young kids are when they start to exhibit acts of defiance and selfishness. Without correction (and sometimes even with it!), that defiance can grow into full-blown tantrums and fits. As parents, we're tempted to choose 1 of 2 extreme responses. We can swing to one side by hesitating to correct our children at all. We let them run the show and just try to make ‘suggestions’ to their behavior. We can swing the other way and become an ultra-authoritarian ("You do what I say or else!”). This can border on tyrannical if done without compassion or restraint. Neither of these extremes is a good option because neither one points kids to Jesus.

Here are some things to keep in mind as you point kids to Jesus in correction:

Check your motives.

     Are you wanting to "drop the hammer” because you're angry? Are you avoiding disciplining your child because it’s too hard? We need to make sure our motivation is to help our kids become more like Jesus. If we do, we’ll avoid both correcting in anger and not correcting at all.

Connect your discipline to God's Word.

     Children need to know the reason behind discipline. Never correct your kids without teaching them how to behave in light of God's Word. Help them to see not just what they did wrong, but what they can do right next time. Share a verse or passage of scripture that teaches them how God wants them to behave.

Right the wrong.

     Give your children the opportunity to apologize and make amends. For young kids, you might need to walk them through what to say and what to do. For older children, remind them they should make things right and give them a chance to act. This is also a great moment to teach the other person how to show forgiveness and unconditional love.

Include consequences. 

     If there aren't consequences involved in discipline, it isn’t much more than a conversation. Far from being cruel, providing an age appropriate consequence teaches kids that their negative actions can bring negative results. Hebrews 12:11 says, “No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening - it’s painful! But afterward, there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way."

Celebration

     The other side of the coin is celebrating your kids' good behavior. Surprisingly, this is also a difficult time to point kids to Jesus. If your kid does something awesome - like great work on a school assignment or helping a sibling without being asked - it's far too easy to simply say “Good job! I’m really proud of you.” What’s wrong with complimenting your child? Nothing in and of itself. But if you never go any further and point to Jesus in your compliments, it opens the door to selfishness, pride, and behavior that's motivated by people-pleasing and not serving God.

     Changing our compliments to things like: “That was awesome, I love it when you live out your faith in Jesus by…” or “Great job winning that race, God has certainly gifted you.” Small tweaks to our compliments keep everyone's focus in the right place.

     In discipline, in celebration, and in every situation, we must remember to point to Jesus in our words, actions, and attitudes.

Rainy Day Activities

     You have the perfect Saturday planned with your kids - a trip to the park, sandwiches on a picnic blanket, and time enjoying the beautiful spring weather. But you forgot one thing: spring doesn't come without rain.

     Nothing can put a damper on a day’s plan more than an unexpected rainfall. In a time where we are more and more dependent on technology, it is good to have activities to do with kids that don't involve putting in a video game or turning on Netflix. Here are a couple websites with some easy ideas that can break up that long day in house for both you and your children.

     Babble.com has a list of 18 Rainy Day Activities to Keep Your Kids Busy, compiled by Gabrielle Blair. There are a lot of great ideas on this list for kids of all ages. One idea that I found especially interesting was #13 Making Homemade Bouncy Balls. There's a simple recipe for making super-bouncy balls from scratch!

     Anna Fader, writing for MommyPoppins.com, gives us a list of 50 indoor activities for a rainy day. There are a lot of ideas on this list! If you didn't find something to do from the first list, Mommy Poppins is sure to have something for you. These were two of my favorites:

•  #13 Write letters (on actual paper with actual pens and pencils) to out-of-town relatives or friends.
• #39 Make your own granola bars (recipe included!).

     Hopefully those lists give you enough inspiration to not just survive the next rainy day, but have a lot of fun with your family! You could just binge-watch a few Disney movies on Netflix, but wouldn't you rather create lasting memories with your kids? Let us know if you have any special rainy day traditions, and help us learn from you!

Fostering a Heart for God's Word - Discipleship at Home

     In September, my wife Emily and I will welcome our third child into the world. Third. As in three human beings for whom we are responsible. Sometimes I feel inadequate to guide these three little blessings throughout their life. When I really stop to think about it, it’s easy for me to feel overwhelmed by everything I want them to become. I want them to love others, pursue their passions and gifting, and stay far away from the Green Bay Packers. Mostly, I hope Emily and I can disciple them and model Christ for them in a way that helps them find an authentic love for and faith in Jesus.

“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.” - Deuteronomy 6:4-7

Parents First

     These verses give us a template for how to disciple our kids. God uses His Word to help us understand His nature— who He is and how we can have a relationship with Him. Spending time in the Bible is crucial in order to know God. We as parents must love the Lord our God wholeheartedly and seek to know Him better through studying and applying the Bible on a daily basis. If we want our kids to find a heart for God’s Word, we must model that in our own lives.

     This can be difficult depending on how old our kids are and what stage of life we’re in, but even allowing our children to watch us spend time in the Word helps them see the value and importance of it in our lives. Parents are the primary model of God’s Word to our kids. Although God has given parents many resources and relationships to help disciple our kids, this is not a responsibility we can shift to youth leaders, pastors, or other family members.

Help Develop the Habit

     Discipleship at home starts with our own relationship with Jesus, but the next aspect is just as crucial. If we want to foster a heart for God and His Word, we have to encourage our kids to read the Bible and interact with it regularly. Moses says to repeat God’s commands to your children and talk about them at home, on the road, when you go to bed, and when you rise. He uses these words to suggest that we should be discussing God’s commands with our kids constantly and consistently, no matter where we are. Here are some suggestions for helping your kids interact with God’s Word:

• Find an age-appropriate Bible for your kids like The Jesus Storybook Bible for younger kids or The Kids Slimline NLT Bible for elementary-age children. We use the Jesus Storybook Bible with my kids. They love to look at the pictures while we read to them, and they are learning that every story points to Jesus.
• Find a Routine. Consistency is crucial in order to form a habit. Find a time that works for your family and commit to it. We read in the Bible every night before bed and every morning during breakfast. Although my kids are only 1 and 3, they both value these times, frequently reminding me when it’s time to read. Remember that it is just as important for you as a parent to form your own personal Bible reading habits as well.
• Apply what you’ve studied. At Camp we like to ask these questions in order to put our Bible study into action:

1. What does this teach us about God?
2. What does this teach us about people?
3. What lessons can we learn and apply today?
4. Who will you share this with? When?

     This might look different for your family depending on how old your kids are, but we need to take the time to discuss what we are learning and how we are applying it in order to grow. Ask these questions around the dinner table and be sure to follow up with what your kids share throughout the week. Be ready to share your own answers with your kids!

Don’t Be Discouraged

     If you’re like me, this responsibility can feel like such a blessing and a bit of a burden at the same time. Remember, spending time studying and applying the Bible is an issue of the heart, not an obligation. As our hearts grow closer to Jesus, we are able to model our faith for our kids.

How have you helped your kids study the Bible? What challenges have you faced? What tips or resources do you have to share?

Serving With Your Family - Discipleship at Home

    Have you ever found yourself in a season where circumstances or daily routine tasks have gotten in the way of your ability to help others? Is it difficult to show your family what it looks like to love like Jesus - to feed, clothe, house, give, and listen? We found ourselves in that same spot just over a year ago, and decided to stop making excuses, and to start serving intentionally.

    One of my spiritual gifts is serving. I discovered early on in my teenage years that helping others gave me great joy. God developed this gift through many different experiences (including working at COCUSA!). As I got older, it became increasingly difficult to set aside time to serve. I had so many “excuses” not to host people in my home… until my husband and I helped plant a church. It was one of the most challenging and growing experiences that Isaac and I have been through together. Through serving in our church, our marriage has gotten stronger, and we have been able to positively impact people in our community together in the name of Jesus.

 The Bible says…

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” (Romans 12:9-13)

This all seems pretty straightforward, right? Love God, love people, hate evil, and serve others. Easier said than done, especially when you’re juggling a job, parenthood, relationships, house maintenance, paying bills, the list goes on. But God makes it very clear in his word that if we want to love and serve him, we need to love and serve people. This is an essential principle of Christianity, and the example Jesus set throughout his entire earthly ministry. 

“A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)

    My husband and I want to set a standard of generosity (with our time, finances, possessions and love) for our future children and let it be a foundation for our marriage. Here are some practical ways to get involved that have helped my family as we try to serve alongside each other. 

Get connected within your local church.

•  

  Almost every well-established church in your area will have a ministry where you can volunteer, make donations, prepare meals, or help fulfill other needs within the church body.

Serve organizations in your community.

• Research food pantries, homeless shelters, pregnancy centers, and other non-profit service-based organizations in your community. Go grocery shopping with your kids for the food pantry, collectively help someone with yard work, or take the family to a nursing home for the afternoon to brighten someone’s day. Help is always needed, and there are a lot of family friendly ways to serve men, women and children in need!

Be Available.

• Simply take time to be intentional with the people in your life. Opening up your home, offering to buy someone’s coffee, or making yourself available to others is the first and foremost way to set an example for your kids and show them how to love and serve others throughout daily life.

How does your family serve together? Give us more ideas by sharing a comment!